My need for cash, and my great love affair attachment and immense aggravation annoyance with DW TV or Dee Vee Tee Fowl

I will work for money and expenses, I will be happy to get fired if any of DW’s or any other agencies sets up a ruckus, like I care, and wonders, I will also be happy to print retractions or remonstrations, with the proviso that I put the original statement as is, and then explain who required me to make what remonstration or retraction. I think that is perfeckly fair.

I don’t have time to look up Rudy’s number or anything, but the good thang is he is in the Washington DC office, so there should be no problem his hiring or renting my American ass.

Stupid man Shane Frankhauser, the massive idiot, kept thinking I wanna job in GERMANY. Man, that would suck big time, thas why the last time I was in Hamburg and the natives bothered my damn ass, and I couldn’t find DW on the TV dial, did I tell ya, the nitwits cant get the time of day in their own country, hahahhahahahahahahha.

Well, I was in Hamburg, being lured to Germany by the thought of so many sexy people in DW, although they are wily, manipulative and frequently nazis, but there I was, and then I discover that stupid asses aren’t even broadcast in their own country, imagine fucking that.

Peter Dolle gets very upset when I keep bringing it up, but it is no small thing to be the national tv channel and then ya cant even get seen.

Then I went to this store on Monckebergstrasse and says, I wants to buy me the little portable tv in the winder, just like in the song, and the man, Bamberg is his name, goes all trembly and nuts and says, oh I don’t know if we have it, I said, I can see it on your walls and you have it in your show winder, then he says, we don’t take credit cards, so I says fine, I have a debit card and then he pooh poohs that becoz it has it a mastercard on the logo, so what, it’s a debit card from Citibank and I just got money from the bank TWICE on it, but he insists it’s a debit card, so I finally count out all the Euros I have, my Dad made me buy some with Indian Rupees, so I have some left over from the cab ride home and the coffee I bought at the airport and I had some from the stuff I withdrew and voila, I had the Euro 189.99 that they was asking for the bitty little Roadstar TV and Bamberg looked better when he heard I was gonna be looking for DW tv and not some Nazi station, but they was all shaking like a leaf, lemme tell y a.

And I was wearing my American badge that says home of the free and land of the brave and I was bawling, I didn’t come from the home of the free and the land of the brave to get rolled over in every store in this Nazi town.

And my country liberated your country, so there.

I can tell ya it was quite a scene, but I was Mad as Hell and not gonna take it anymore, coz the lady in the telephone store first acted all high handed with me, then I says I wanna buy a telephone on which you can watch TV and see, see, Peter Dolle already said streaming video is what they are longing with all their lusty loins to provide, but the lady started barking NO TV, NO TV and then she bawled me out coz I wasn’t carrying my passport, which I kept in the hotel for safety, for fuck’s sake, I wanted to get pickpocketed or something. So who knew.

Yeah, so I was mad as heck and I already knew Reliance TV wanted to give us what they call 3G product, or video and TV on our phones and I was steadily buying phones with the hopes of getting to see different services and I had already bought 3 baseline extra phones in the US and I couldn’t see what the fuss was and why Bamberg was shaking like a leaf and then the lady at the desk handed me my TV after I proudly and ceremoniously counted out the Euro 190 to be sure I had handed her the right amount and the Nazis didn’t try to pull another fast one on me.

And then I bawled all the way to the hotel, except a nice lady called Remi sold me a lovely sandwich and some nice bread, which always calms me down and then I went back to the hotel and sat down and ate something, so I felt better, then I tried to hook up the wretched Roadstar and guess what, we cant even get DW or Dee Vee Tee Fowl on it. Imagine that.

Bah humbug, I bawled out Peter at least 5 consecutive times the following week, and for once he forgot his smooth moves and he complained to Konrad Pohl on air that I was fixated on it, he made his finger pointy and jabbed it up and down in hilarious exasperation.

But the guys and one lady called Andrea on German TV were chuckling and delighted that I had raised a ruckus and demanded my right to buy a TV to see my own TV station, as I lovingly call Dee Vee Tee Fowl, becoz of all the sexy boys and pretty chicks on it, even though at least half are Nazis and the rest are expats, who are very patient with me.